Saturday, August 27, 2011

Back to the Future!

At the conclusion of the Agile 2011 conference, Todd Little jokingly looked back to the 1st Agile conference in 2004 when agile experts made predictions of the future and came up with the top 8 things that will happen once main stream gets hold of Agile Software Development:

8. The 1st Agile software development conference will undergo historical revisionism, in which it will be told as originally taking place on a farm outside Sundance, with lots of music and on-demand pairing, and announcements in middle of the conference to not eat the brown acid.

7. The Spike channel will ask Ron Jeffries to host an Apprentice-type reality show where agile teams will compete against each other to build software for rocket-packs, X-ray goggles, and invisibility rays. The catchphrase when he gets rid of the failing team each week is “You’re dead fish!”

6. GE will develop 3 year, six sigma certification programs for becoming Agile Certified.

4. You’ll see personal ads like ”Certified SCRUM master seeks product owner with large product backlog for promiscuous pairing”, and “Single Agile Developer with data envy and analysis paralysis seeks customer for private requirements collection; expect failure”.

3. Sun will come up with an innovative, elegant Agile programming language, get people to use it, and proceed to totally screw up the marketing for it and name it with really confusing release numbers.

2. Woman out at bars together will refer scathingly to the guy at the end of the bar who keeps starring at them as a “scope creep”.

1. A paperclip in Windows will pop up periodically and say, “Looks like you’re trying the waterfall method. Want me to pair with you?